I WAS TAGGED BY tskyli
Here are my 10 facts
First the rules:
1, You must post these rules.
2, Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3, You have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4, Go to their pages and tell them you tagged them.
5, No tag backs
1. I am very bad about following through on things. I think this is mainly due to my laziness but I am also lacking, I suppose, in motivation for most everything. I honestly wish I could find something, besides love that is, that I can have some passion and determination for.
2. I am secretly depressed. I dont think many people know this and even the ones that do have no idea why. The truth is that I don't really know either unfortunately. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. I am constantly switching back and forth between fighting and embracing the darkness.
3. I am a unsure of my personality. What I mean is that what I do is done because I choose to. Sometimes it is very difficult to decide how to react to something or how to handle a situation. I have no natural responses so i have to decide on something. To be perfectly honest I could just as easily be the most sardonic and hurtful asshole as I could be the sweetest thing on earth. I could stare into your eyes as you die with a blank, cold expression or I could cry my eyes out and try to save you. I've never really publicly announced this because I am always afraid that it will drive people away or cause them to think less of me. I do obviously have some inner desires and personality traits but again many are by choice.
4. While i may seem like an agreeable and sometimes awesome person, I am just like anyone else in that my past is not something that I enjoy. It wasn't a great experience and I dont want to revisit it anytime soon.
5. Secretly i am extremely upset that I have no specialties or skills. I am moderately good at most things with potential for just about anything but as of right now I have no skills that I excel in. This is a source of great distress for me. Everyone I know has something that they do better than any of our other friends but I have nothing. One friend is a cosplay master, another can play piano well enough to bring an audience to tears, another friend is the best fighter I know, another can sing amazingly well, and another has the best graphics skills and is unparalelled in fighting games as well as humor. But what do I do? What can I do?
6. I am poor :C. I am trying to get a job now but I have grown up poor. it's actually not that bad. I was never unhappy or upset with my single mother and I's situation, we had each other and enough for a nintendo 64 :3. It's also given me a pretty neat skill set. I'm not the best a it but growing up poor, you learn how to survive. How to eat well for a small amount of money, how to find good deals on clothes and other things. It also teaches you about value and hard work.
7. I love women. Not in the way that most men do, please do not be put off by that statement. Women are the most beautiful thing on earth. They are subtle, almost fragile at times, and georgous. The softness of their skin beats out any other texture on earth. The sweet and aesthetic curvature of their bodies are so much better than the blocky physique of man. The usually kind and sympathetic emotional side of them is comforting and warm. I often find myself looking at women, sometimes staring, not because of the reason most men do, which is sexual in nature. I look at women and appreciate everything about them. I behold their bodies as a living, breathing work of art. i see their personalities, so unique and quirky, as a sort of splatter painting. It's a random collection of colors and sentiments such that there is beauty in it. I love women so much that i want to explore them, not just physically, see them in their full glory, unclothed. I want to hold them, touch them, feel the cool touch of their soft skin, run my hands over their appealing curves, loving and appreciating their reactions to my touch. Men who view women as objects and men that do not appreciate women are scum. I hate them. I hate chauvanism just as much as I hate racism and intolerance in general. These are my views on women. i hope that I managed to convey this well enough, I probably cannot possibly hope to give the the full idea but here is a glimmer of my love of women. Women are beauty.
8. I am interested in like everything. I want to do everything and learn everything i can. I want to learn many diferent styles of martial arts, smithing, dancing ballet, hip hop, break, and melbourne shuffle. I also want to skydive, rock climb in colorado with no equipment, learn how to mix various poisons, become a deadly assassin, be in a hollywood movie or two, become famous, make a scientific contribution to the world, etc. My bucket list is enormous, so big I haven't written it yet coz it would be a novel. I also want to learn like every language I can :3.
9. I sometimes fantasize that i am in the high court of europe. I sometimes think of myself as a young wealthy noble. Sharp as a tack, good-looking, seemingly effortlessly defeating my enemies, because in the high court of europe back in the day there were always enemies. I sometimes have a big romance story play out, other times I am just a ladies man :3. Other times I am but a servant, silently in love with the lady I serve. I grant her requests andd go to enormous lengths to please her, not out of necessity or responsibility, but because seeing her smile is worth life as a lowly servant. Most times she is in love with me as well, but nothing could ever come of it.
10. Last one. I have horrible self-esteem like most teenagers. people complement me and tell me good things about myself but I never believe them. I dont think I am good looking though some would disagree. I'm just an average looking guy with nothing at all special about him. This is ironic because because every time someone elese expresses this sentiment, I want nothing more than to make them wake up and see just how truly amazing they are. Also, this may be due to my own depreession but I am attracted to depression. When i see a girl cry, I want to hold and comfort her, just sit there holding her until all of the pain is gone. I also happen to believe that there is nothing more beautiful than sadness. Sadness is beauty. She will never be more beautiful than she is in that moment of utter despair and desperation, when she has been completely broken down to nothing and stripped to the bone. Second place goes to the exact opposite, happines. A smiling girl is a beautiful thing.
So yeah those are my ten facts.
I'll just follow the example of the friend who tagged meh and say that if you just read this, you are now tagged. Seeing as how probably only two or three people, if that, will read this, I haven't tagged very many people. :C